Friday, March 29, 2013

Purpose and Hope

Today, as Max and I sit in our hotel room near Boston Children's Hospital, I almost can't believe that we are here. Max had quite the long open heart surgery just 8 days ago. Just five months ago, we weren't sure if his heart would even be able to be repaired. There was a time, shortly after bringing him home from Ukraine, that we thought we might have to bury another son. I can vividly remember a conversation my husband and I had during this time. I can remember my husband telling me that if we did end up losing him that at least he would have known the love of a family. He was no longer confined to a crib. He was no longer living a life without knowing love, without knowing what it meant to belong, without knowing what it is to be held, to be snuggled, to be kissed, to be hugged, to hear I love you. He belonged now and he was deeply loved. Many children around the world never get to experience that.

I can't even tell you what if feels like to think you might lose another son. But we knew that God had called us to Max. He had prepared us for him. We didn't know what His plans were for Max, but we knew that we were committed to love him for however long God allowed us to keep him. Max deserved that much. He was worth any pain we might face. We just needed to trust Him.

And now, here I am with my son playing right in front of me. Not only is he alive. Not only were they able to do something for his heart, but they were able to do a full repair. He will need more intervention in the future, but we will likely get to watch our son live a long and healthy life.

We are so very thankful that Max has recovered so well and so quickly without a lot of complications, but we have not forgotten all of the children and their families who have not experienced the same outcome. Do you think that perhaps God loves Max more than He loved Isaac or the other children who couldn't stay or those who are struggling to survive? Absolutely NOT! We do not think for a second that somehow God loves Max more or that he is somehow more special than the others who are struggling or those who couldn't stay. I don't pretend to understand God's ways or why He allows certain things to happen, but what I do know is that God loves all of these children. He died for all of them. His ways are far beyond my comprehension. There are things that I will never understand this side of heaven. I don't understand why some children get to stay and others don't, especially when they were so loved and wanted. But, what I do know is that His ways are perfect even when I do not understand. I believe that everyone was born for a purpose. Max has yet to fulfill his purpose. Isaac already fulfilled his. He accomplished so much in his short life. Isaac's days were written before he took his first breath and God allowed him to fulfill the purpose he was created for and then He said "No more, Isaac. No more fighting so hard to live. No more struggling for every breath. Your work on earth is finished. You fulfilled your purpose and you did it well! It is now time for you to rest and enjoy all that I have for you."

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139:16

While we long for the day when we will all be reunited, we are enjoying today and the blessings that God has given us. We are excited to see the plans that God has for our family, for Max, for Koah, Abi, and Ryder. While we celebrate how well Max is doing, we have not forgotten those who are struggling, those who are no longer physically here with us, and those children who are yet to find their family. While we long for our son, Isaac, we are not left without hope, but rather, we are hopeful for the future. We are so very thankful for the hope that we have of one day being reunited with him because of the gift of God's own son.

For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16


1 comment:

  1. Once again, so beautiful and so insightful ! You have a gift for writing and a gift for life ! May God continue to bless you and your family.